Stephen King – Misery

Now that’s a fucked up situation: you take  a nice accident on a road and a bitch save you, then she tries to kill you, if you don’t accomplish all of her fantasies – and guess what? She’s no nymphomaniac sexy slut, she’s just a fat and ugly cook always ready to cut your leg and give you some bullshit pills! So, you are really screwed!
Thank God nothing like this could happen here in Romania!
Why?
1. First of all, in Romania there are no famous writers. All of our writers are almost anonymous. The one you maybe now… trust me… we the Romanian … we don’t know him! So, he is just a crazy mother fucker who write about stars and shit! The Romanians who want to become famous writers, are going out of country, and they write in French, English, German or any other language but Romanian, because in Romania there are no editors to publish them, because here in Romania the editors have no fucking idea what marketing is, and most of them are living quite good with the allowances from the Government, so why should they care about books, marketing and shit while life is so beautiful!
So, whit no famous writers, there are no fans, and without fans, there are no fanatics, and without fanatics there is no Stephen King situation here… get it?
2. Second: the Romanian philosophy is: “Why should I kill you… so slow?” Imagine a Romanian Annie Wilkins: “Io, mister Sheldon… would you please write me a book?” – “Fuck off bitch!” – “Fuck me? You little son of Stephen the Great and Saint (that’s a Romanian king)… witch was your latest book?” – BANG! – She kills the artist without remorse.  

That’s why we live so well here in Romania, and that’s why our eggheads always said: “Oh, my God… I really don’t understand the horror literature!”.

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